The Vigil
by Cassandraishere
Summary: The war still rages on as Katniss turns her back on the battle and heads for District Thirteen to watch over Peeta who has been placed in an induced coma to fight the tracker jacker venom in his system. This decission leads to turmoil, emotionally, politically, and relationship wise. With the luming threat of assasins, and corruption within the rebels Peeta's coma could last.
1. Chapter 1

**_I don't know much about serious medical conditions, so this may not be extremely accurate. I'm sorry about that._**

**_I don't own the hunger games_**

_**You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed**_  
_**Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head**_  
_**Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night**_

_**You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe**_  
_**Shine like gold, buzz like a bee**_  
_**Just the thought of you can drive me wild**_  
_**Oh, you make me smile**_

_**Even when you're gone,**_  
_**Somehow you come along just like**_  
_**A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack**_  
_**And just like that**_  
_**You steal away the rain, and just like that**_

_**You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed**_  
_**Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head**_  
_**Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night**_

_**You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe**_  
_**Shine like gold, buzz like a bee**_  
_**Just the thought of you can drive me wild**_  
_**Oh, you make me smile**_

**_-Smile, Unkle Kracker_**

* * *

There were so many labels for her, so many names people called her, so many identities attached to her. She was Katniss Everdeen the Girl on Fire; she was Katniss Everdeen the Mockingjay, she was Katniss Everdeen half of the Star-crossed Lovers.

But who was Katniss Everdeen?

The girl sat on a log with a permanent scowl etched on her wrinkle-free olive face. She was quite the beauty in reality, something she was certainly blind to as much women are. Her coal hair hung freely down her shoulders, carelessly tossed about by the lingering breeze. Her jaw was set, her fists were clenched and her eyes were focused.

Not many people may know who Katniss Everdeen is, but one thing is for certain, the girl, the woman was determined.

Gale Hawthorne, her best friend whom to the unknowing eye appeared to be a close relative maybe a brother, was speaking to her. He chatters with a passionate ardor, waving his hands about as he did so. He spoke of rebellion; he articulated a detailed image of the future, _their _future.

Katniss Everdeen didn't listen, she could care less.

Instead Katniss thought. Katniss pondered and analyzed her mind a thousand miles away, districts away, universes away.

Her thoughts were of District Thirteen.

She didn't miss the drab location, she never would. She had no yearning for its faded grey colors and white walls and clinical tile. No, Katniss Everdeen hated District Thirteen, it was confining, cold, controlling.

Katniss Everdeen yearned for the hospital.

No, she wasn't pinning for the doctors and nurses, she wasn't sighing in disappointment because of the lack of needles at her side. Katniss Everdeen missed a patient, the most important patient that District Thirteen had ever had. Well, to her standards at least.

Katniss Everdeen missed Peeta Mellark.

She would never admit it out loud to anyone but her sister Prim because it was an embarrassing topic. Katniss Everdeen could feel such a thing? She could be depressed because of a _boy_? A boy, really?

Yes a boy, Katniss Everdeen missed a simple blond boy.

He was suffering, miles away from her under the constant haze of the morphlim they pumped into his system. They had him strapped to his bed as he twisted and thrashed in an agony only he could fully understand. Katniss couldn't bear to see it, let alone think about it. Yet she did at every waking hour, every second of every day he was at the front and centre of her mind. Had they fed him today? They had to; they couldn't let him starve, could they? What terrors had he seen as he slept? What did he think about? Did he think at all, or was he much too incoherent?

What was to happen to him?

Katniss Everdeen wished she didn't care but she did. How could she not? What had the baker's son ever done wrong? What sins did he commit? When did he ever not please?

And why, oh why, hadn't Primrose Everdeen called her yet with an update on his medical status?

Katniss Everdeen didn't catch the exact moment Gale fell silent, she didn't see the hurt flash across his features, or the unreasonable guilt. She blinked, one moment he was reciting his dreams of freedom and the next he was staring at her with a blank expression on his simple face.

There was no need for words; Gale's thoughts were written on his face.

_'You're thinking about him, are you not?'_

There was no need for an answer because her answer was clear. She was thinking about him, when was she _not_ thinking about him?

Gale had no choice. He got to his feet and marched away, meeting up with some other soldiers to discuss whatever strategy they had to raid whatever District they were in.

Suddenly it was quiet again.

"Telegram for soldier Everdeen!" shouted a young fellow from within the tent. The tent had a name which escaped Katniss at the moment.

She resorted to calling it The Tent.

Katniss was within the tent quickly already expecting the worst news. Something short and deadly, cold words that she would find crushing, destructive, and irreversible.

Something along the lines of _'Mr. Peeta Mellark passed on the morning of March fifth at 15:00, the army and the district itself would like to extend its condolences' _her fingers shook as the wrapped around the cold folded piece of paper. She was already on the edge, prepared for the downwards fall that was sure to come, prepared to die, to no longer want to fight to live because he was gone.

The paper read a very different message indeed.

_'Mr. Peeta Mellark has been under rigorous medical treatment to rid him of the Tracker Jacker venom in his blood stream. He has been placed into an induced coma and received numerous blood transfusions. As you may already know many cell-eating bacteria have been released into his blood stream to annihilate the virus that had attached itself to his white blood cells which produced a cancer-like virus which prevented him from recovering full mental stability. His blood stream has been cleaned and the doctors are now standing by waiting for any sign of mental activity. He could wake any day now, or not at all. Your presence, Soldier Everdeen, is requested at the hospital since these may very well be the last day of Mr. Mellark's life'_

Katniss Evedeen was demanding to be shipped back to District Thirteen via hovercraft after reading the first sentence.

* * *

He was in a delicate condition. Tubes ran down his throat and needles pierced his skin. He was so pail, so frail. Tubes fed him and kept him hydrated. Special blankets were tucked around his tall figure to prevent the possibility of his going into shock. His brain waves were closely examined, as was his heart.

Yet Peeta Mellark continued to breathe on his own, he lived on by his own volition, his own stubbornness.

He had always been a strong one, despite his kindness there was something about him, something ruthlessly determined.

Katniss had only watched him from a window outside his room the first day. She hadn't left the window. He nose and lips were flush against the glass as she stared at him, panic would rise within her breast every excruciating second it took for his chest to finally rise and fall. One breath, she celebrated, she felt joy. And then she panicked again until he breathed once more.

The second day she was allowed in.

She was disinfected thoroughly, a mask placed over her nose and lips, an entire suit covered her head to toe. They couldn't risk her breathing on him, they couldn't risk him dying over the common cold, or because she shed a hair that irritated his skin.

On that day she sat on a hard metal chair next to him and held his hand. She was in a never ending vigil, she couldn't sleep, she needed to see his chest rise and fall. Rise and fall again and again and again.

She was helpless as she looked over his calm face. He looked so very innocent and well rested. The light caught in his hair and his eyelashes making him seem angelic, his fair skin flushed every now and again for no apparent reason.

He was perfect. Despite all the pain, despite the fact that at this very moment, that very second he was living in his worst nightmare, wrapped in misery and an endless masquerade of his worst nightmares, the darkest horrors, despite all that he was beautiful. Even as he suffered this could not be taken, Peeta could not be broken, and his soul could not be shred.

On that day, the second day of her vigil, all Katniss Everdeen could do was weep. Weep for all she could of done, said, had and didn't.

Katniss mourned who he had been on her second day at the hospital, and prayed that he would wake, so they could meet again. Acquaintance themselves, just one more conversation, just one more of his laughs that's all she wanted, she wanted to be in his presence.

The second week was different.

On the second week Katniss had woken with a jolt. She didn't remember falling asleep. She rubbed her eyes and focused, attempting to understand the commotion happening around her. Despite her best efforts to understand what was happening only one thought registered in her mind.

She was no longer holding his hand and the nurses were pulling out needles from his frail skin.

No, not this, not ever.

Was Peeta Mellark dead?

Katniss stood quick enough that her metal chair fell over. She had sat on that chair for a week and her muscles screamed in protest.

Yet the screams from her joints were nothing compared to the desperate cries escaping her mouth.

"What are you doing? Don't, no you'll kill him!"

"Miss Everdeen! Miss Everdeen!" a doctor shouted as she attempted to attack a woman who disconnected Peeta from the IV that kept him hydrated. She was yanked backwards by the doctor who seemed strong enough to restrain her. Katniss breathed heavily, like a crazed animal.

"He's doing much better; we're moving him out of intensive care. He will be moved to a recovery room, he no longer needs to be kept away from the common bacteria we breathe every day his immune system has grown strong!" the doctor was also breathing heavily, his eyes gave off a crazed look of their own. A look of victory, Katniss may have not seen it until then but she knew at that moment in time that the medical staff cared for Peeta, they wanted him to live. He wasn't another patient, he simply _had _to live.

"Does that mean…" Katniss breathed deeply, unable to speak the words, just in case they weren't true.

"Yes, Miss Everdeen, there is a higher chance that Peeta may wake"

* * *

He hadn't. He was unresponsive.

This was torture.

Katniss Everdeen had lied beside Peeta for a total of two weeks since he was released from ICU. She stoked his face and pressed her ear to his chest, content with the strength of his heartbeat. She would cut his hair and nails when they got too long, she would sing to him and chatter away in hopes that he'd follow her voice and wake up. She would help the nurses clean him with a damp sponge and she would tell him stories of what the world would be like once the war ended and both of them could go home.

She had to help him, she may not be any sort of healer, but she was a woman that cared for him. That had to count for something.

She sat beside him on his hospital bed and smiled down at his slumbering face as she laced her fingers through his unmoving hands. As gently as she could manage she stroked his eyelids with the fingertips of her free hand.

"Would you like me to tell you a story Peeta?" she began cheerfully.

Peeta breathed and did nothing more.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it. It happened many years ago, when we were children. Maybe we were fourteen, fifteen years old? I don't remember well. I think you'll like it, you're in it. It's a very special memory to me"

Peeta breathed and exhaled once more.

"You were working at the bakery. It was a very nice day in District Twelve. I had already done my hunting and trading for the day that morning and there wasn't much left for me to do that afternoon, so I decided to take Prim out for a little walk. You know, to keep her mind off things? It had been a rough year for her, many people were ill that year, and I'm not particularly sure why, but it was abnormal and kept Prim elbows deep in death and suffering families. So I took her to the one place I knew she would be happy to see. I took her to your family's bakery, Peeta.

I've told you before how much she loves the cakes you frost. Seeing them always put her in a good mood. It took me a while to understand her joy but I think I do now… When you see something good and sweet in a world of ashes and blood… well, you cherish it. I think Prim was ten at the time, yeah ten, she was ten. She was in love with these cookies there; they looked like they were covered in flowers with lavender petals. Even I have to admit they were beautiful, and you know I have no eye for art"

Katniss laughed softly and shook her head.

"We looked at them for so long; I wouldn't doubt that our noses were pressed against the shops window and that we were probably drooling. Your father tried to offer us a cookie each but we flat out refused. I have never liked charity, or any gift for that matter. I wouldn't know what to do with them. What do you say to someone who gives you something as expensive as a sugar coater butter cookie, Peeta? They're such a luxury, those treats you make. I took Prim home afterwards. She set about her things; she dried some plants and created some medicine with the little we had and let in that stupid cat. She was helping mother to bed when I caught sight of you. I know you thought I didn't see you but I did, I watched you from the groove in the flimsy wooden door. There you were, all lanky and awkward with arms and feet that must have felt too long at the time and your messy blond hair. You were a very cute fourteen-year-old. You looked confused the entire time." Katniss paused to smile "but then again we all were pretty confused at the time anyways. You left as soon as you arrived. I went outside to call after you, see what you wanted when I saw it, a brown paper bag with your messy handwriting. It said 'don't you dare not accept these' you already knew me too well back then. And honestly Peeta, those were the best cookies I've ever had"

Katniss grinned with pride after her silly story. It felt as if it was centuries ago when two purple cookies could threaten the balance of her world.

"Thank you"

She nodded, satisfied to have finally got that off her chest and nestled against him once more. Her eyelids grew heavy as his strong heartbeat and steady breaths lead her to sleep.

Prim checked in with her the next day. Katniss was concentrated on stroking every inch of Peeta's smooth face when she carefully stepped through the door. Katniss had made it her job to shave the unconscious boy; she refused to let anyone else touch his face. It was an odd request and she knew it yet the medical staff let her have that. It was the only truly concrete rule they had set with Peeta's recovery. Katniss shaves him.

"How is he?" her sisters gentle voice startles her as she had been concentrated on tracing the sloe of his angular nose.

"He's magnificent" Katniss spoke kindly meaning every word as she observed Peeta with visible fondness before shifting her eyes to her sister "but then again, I wouldn't expect anything less from him"

Primrose smiled and made her way towards Katniss. She sat on Peeta's other side and watched him, it felt almost as if she were invading a private moment, what with the way her sister regarded him as if he were the most wonderful thing her eyes had ever fallen upon. He was a good man and there was nothing Prim wanted more than to see his eyes open and a smile stretch his lips upwards, if anyone deserved to survive it was Peeta. He had seen and done so much, he deserved as much happiness as he could get and Katniss was willing to provide it.

Katniss would fetch him the moon if he asked.

"He'll wake up." Prim nodded and took a hold of Peeta's free hand, it was unresponsive to her ouch yet warm and she could feel his steady pulse "you'll see."

"Of course he will." Katniss nodded "and after that he'll spend some time getting his faculties back together, maybe a little physical therapy and then I'll take him home to Twelve. Maybe we can even build a new house and go live by the lake or reopen the bakery."

"That sounds nice" Prim grinned and stroked Peeta's golden hair "I bet he'll like that"

"I hope he does" Katniss sounded almost shy, unsure. Like a Schoolgirl confessing who her crush was "I hope he'll want to do those things with me, you know if he's still willing to have me, I…"

"Oh Katniss" Prim reached out to stroke her sisters dark mane of curls. She hadn't braided her hair and it fell in a bouncy sheet down her shoulders and touched her elbows "Peeta loves you, there's nothing that would ever change his mind"

The older girl sighed "I just wish he knew…. I wish he understood…"

"That you love him too?" the blond girl quirked an eyebrow "I'm sure he knows that, you've been here ever since you were given permission to enter the room"

Katniss smiled and blushed, her eyes falling downcast and landing on Peeta's serene face "I want to say it to him, when he's conscious"

Prim was about to respond with a smile when she was interrupted.

Katniss Everdeen yelped and began crying out in joy something along the lines of "He moved! Peeta moved! He squeezed my hand!"

The hospital room's door burst open with a medical team ready to assess their patient.

* * *

**That was the first chapter! I don't know what my storyline is here but here this is in the spirit of discovery!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_ Hello! I just want to say a few things:_**

**_Yes I tinkered with the words to Bleeding Love on purpose._**

**_I don't own the Hunger Games_**

**_Thank you for the Reviews._**

**_You guys are kind of awesome for taking the time to read this._**

**_There is a house built out of stone_**  
**_Wooden floors, walls and window sills..._**  
**_Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust..._**  
**_This is a place where I don't feel alone_**  
**_This is a place where I feel at home..._**

**_And I built a home_**  
**_For you_**  
**_For me_**

**_Until you disappeare_**  
**_From me_**  
**_From you_**

**_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust..._**

**_Out in the garden where we planted the seeds_**  
**_There is a tree as old as me_**  
**_Branches were sewn by the color of green_**  
**_Ground had arose and passed it's knees_**

**_By the cracks of his skin I climbed to the top_**  
**_I climbed the tree to see the world_**  
**_When the gusts came around to blow me down_**  
**_Held on as tightly as you held onto me_**  
**_Held on as tightly as you held onto me..._**

**_And, I built a home_**  
**_For you_**  
**_For me_**

**_Until you disappeared_**  
**_From me_**  
**_From you_**

**_And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust..._**

To Build A Home, The Cinematic Orchestra.

* * *

"Miss Everdeen, someone is here to see you" a small nurse announced from the doorway of the hospital room. The walls were yellow. Katniss liked that, yellow walls, like dandelions and Peeta's hair. Yellow.

"Who?" Katniss frowned and stroked Peeta's hand with her thumb, hoping that he'd twitch his finger or something. He didn't "I don't want to leave him… whatif something happens?"

The nurse smiled sympathetically and nodded "That's quite alright, I'll bring them in."

Before the nurse walked away Katniss frantically motioned for her to stop "Who is it though?"

"Mr. Abernathy and Mr. Hawthorne." the nurse smiled once more before ducking out the door.

Katniss turned back to Peeta. He looked calm. Sometimes he breathed heavily and moved his eyes rapidly behind his closed eyelids. Even in a coma he still had nightmares and there was nothing that she could do. She bit her lower lip and smiled, happy that at the moment at least, he wasn't visiting the horror bonanza his mind had to offer.

"They've sent the grim reapers after me, Peeta. What's a girl to do? You'll protect me right? Even while you sleep I think you could still manage to intimidate a guy, huh?" Katniss smiled at the absolute ludicrous statement she'd just made and gently pressed a kiss on the tip of Peeta's nose. The blond boy reacted only with a slight sputter to his breathing that wasn't a major advancement at all.

There was a soft knock on the door followed by Gale's tall figure passing the doorway. Once he entered the room Haymitch strode in and headed straight for the only chair in the room. It was next to Peeta's bed and meant for her but Katniss never used it. Katniss preferred to lounge in the bed beside Peeta. That way she could feel a piece of him at all times. Katniss needed bodily contact.

"How is he?" Haymitch asked with a rare note of gentleness as he awkwardly set his hands on the edge of Peeta's bed, unsure of what to do with his hands.

"He's doing great" Katniss announced with visible pride "His brain has shown signs of activity and he squeezed my hand yesterday. It could have been a left over reflex, but it's quite promising. They said that he can probably hear us right now"

Haymitch nodded and smiled down at Peeta who was breathing deeply "Well look at you boy. Eavesdropping is rude; you should contribute to the conversation."

Katniss chuckled and brushed her fingers past his golden hair. Gale paced the room, unsure of where to go, what to do. He settled with leaning against the wall near Peeta's IV. Katniss turned to him with an expectant look in her bright grey eyes. Her hair was devoid of a braid again and she looked serene. Calmer than Gale had ever seen her before, he didn't understand her, she wore that expression every time she touched the unconscious man on the hospital bed. She did during the first Hunger Games when she nursed the blond boy in that cave, she did when she kept watch with him in the Quarter Quell, and she did every time she kissed him. In whatever form his touch came for her Katniss relaxed, she melted.

"The rebellion still needs you Katniss." Gale began softly "There are still responsibilities that you need to tend to."

Katniss sighed and shook her head. She turned her gaze back to Peeta and ran her finger up and down the slope of his nose "This is more important. The war can go on without me."

"But, what about the propos and-"

Haymitch lifted his hand up and motioned for Gale to be silent "This is more important."

The three were silent as they observed Peeta breathe and listened to the beep of his heart monitor. Katniss couldn't stop touching him, she simply had to cradle his hand, and she had to stroke his cheek. She couldn't help herself, every minute she pictured him opening his eyes; it was an image that played over and over again in a loop in her mind. She saw his tangled eyelashes ruffle, his forehead wrinkle and his eyes snap open. She just wanted to see those beautiful eyes.

"Maybe, if Peeta wakes up soon, I'll help. If he doesn't need me, I'll help" Katniss turned to stare at Gale again, yet he knew her words were lies, there was no way in hell Katniss was leaving Peeta period. Unconscious or awake she wasn't about to be in a room without him.

Gale nodded and went to stand beside his friend "Tell me about Peeta"

Katniss' eyes visibly brightened as she turned back to smile at the baker's son. There were so many things she could say about him, so many stories she could tell. She settled on telling Gale about how Peeta had insisted on chopping up wood for her fire place on the winter before the Quarter Quell, they hadn't been talking much at the time, since Katniss had committed the mistake of angering him and ignoring him all at once. Yet, despite his unhappiness Peeta couldn't bear to see her go cold, or see her attempt to chop the wood herself since she was no good at the task. They had spent entire evenings together, him chopping wood, and her with a hot mug of tea at the ready.

"He is just so stubborn. He said he was going to chop the wood and he chopped it. We could have ordered some fire-ready pieces from the Capitol but he insisted. It was nice, sitting on my front porch with him"

Haymitch smiled along with her, it wasn't every day you could see the girl with eyes of steel soften so clearly. She had been an image of defiance and strength for so long it was easy to forget that in reality she was still a girl, still a girl with girlish emotions, they may be buried deep but they were in there.

This was what she deserved, to feel the full range of emotions the heart was able to produce, with Peeta.

* * *

"You really think that would help?" Katniss fiddled with her hands uneasily and bit down on her lower lip as her eyes fell across every person in the room "It could help him recover?"

"Yes, you must understand, nothing is certain at this point in time, but we've seen that he reacts positively to your voice. If this is true then doing this should help him recover enough to awake sooner rather than later" the doctor explained with a kind smile.

Katniss sighed. She was still seated upon Peeta's bed and was surrounded with the team of doctors and nurses that were monitoring every one of his bodily functions. What they were asking wasn't unreasonable, it was something she'd done before, yet she wasn't sure. She never had had an audience when she sang for Peeta; it had always been just the two of them.

Well, she would do anything for him.

She nodded "Alright"

The medical staff set to work. They attached wires to Peeta's head and forehead and set up whatever other machines they needed to record any brain activity.

Once they were done they settled in a cluster of chairs near the far wall, their attempt to give her some privacy.

Katniss turned to look at Peeta once again and took a deep breath before beginning her song.

"Closed off from love /I didn't need the pain/ Once or twice was enough/and it was all in vain/ Time starts to pass/before you know it you're frozen" she breathed with sudden excitement as the machines beeps became much more frequent. "But something happened /For the very first time with you/ My heart melts into the ground/ Found something true/ And everyone's looking round/ Thinking I'm going crazy"

Katniss continued to sing, her voice growing louder as the beeps increased in frequency. The doctors and nurses murmured in amazement as they watched the troubled girl slowly unfold and become a strong, confident woman before their eyes. It only took a song, a strong one such as this one, to give her a tighter grip on her dream to see Peeta awake. It made her not only determined, but sure it would occur.

Katniss' voice hushed as it filled with emotion. Hey eyes grew damp and the electric current in the room spiked to its peak "I don't care what they say/I'm in love with you/They try to pull me away/But they don't know the truth/My heart's crippled by the vein/That I keep on closing/You cut me open and I/ Keep, keep bleeding love"

"Amazing" someone gasped from the back of the room. Slowly Katniss ripped her gaze away from Peeta who remained motionless and let it settle on a doctor who had shot out of his seat. He taped away furiously at a tablet he held and scribbled upon his clipboard as well "Truly incredible! It's as if her voice… her voice makes the gears in his mind begin to move!"

"Should I sing again?" Katniss asked quietly from her place on the bed. She did not only look drained, she was emotionally worn. "If it'll help I could go on, I'll sing as many songs as you need me to."

"Yes, it could help, but we need to try to understand w_hy_ he reacts this way in the first place. He is capable of doing this without you, that much we know, yet he'll only do it when you sing? Why?"

Katniss Everdeen breathed deeply and collected her thoughts "Peeta suffers from terrible nightmares ever since we came back from the Hunger Games. I do too. We would share a bed since it would help us calm down to see the other there, when Peeta's nightmares got particularly ugly I would sing, he said it helped"

The doctor with the tablet and clipboard nodded "He associated your voice with safety on an unconscious level"

"I would assume." Katniss nodded.

"I think this may be the only way to get him to wake up." a nurse confessed "These are the best results we've ever seen."

"They are" piped in another doctor.

"But it doesn't make sense, not on paper" argued another doctor.

"It doesn't have to make sense. The human brain is a mystery, neurobiologists still haven't been able to understand why or _how _the human being dreams. The brain's complicated, if Miss Everdeen's voice makes a positive impact who are we to disagree? If it works it works" a nurse said. The room grew deadly silent after she finished her argument.

Katniss stood "Then I guess I should sing again."

**A Month Later.**

"Tell me about your house on the lake. What will it be like?" Primrose Everdeen asked with a dreamy expression on her milky face, her eyes were closed and upon her lips stretched a small content smile.

"It's beautiful, Prim. We'll have fireplaces in every room and velvet drapes, you know that soft stuff that you like so much? We'll also have lots of space, enough room to have left over bedrooms, and an art studio for Peeta"

The Everdeen sisters lay on the carpeted floor of the hospital room, just under the small window implanted in the soft yellow walls. They lay under the warm glow of sunlight the window provided with their eyes shut and their ears attuned to the only sound in the room, Peeta's heart monitor and gentle breathing.

"Tell me about the door" Prim sighed dreamily.

"The door?" Katniss chuckled and shook her head "Which door? The bathroom, bedroom, or front door?"

Prim laughed softly "The front door"

Katniss thought for a minute "Well it'll be large. A double door made of heavy wood with a brass doorknob. Maybe it'll even have something carved into it, some lines or swirls"

"I like it"

The Everdeen sisters had been doing this a lot. They dreamed together. They talked, laughed, and spent a generally wonderful time together. Katniss almost never left Peeta's hospital room, there was a small cot on the floor where she spent her nights. Occasionally she would go to the Districts bathing quarters and catch a quick shower, run to her compartment for spare socks or a hair ribbon. If she didn't have to leave the hospital room she wouldn't.

So Prim came to her, Katniss needed her, she needed to talk about something else than the possibility of Peeta's death.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

A nurse rushed into the room to check on Peeta just as Katniss shot to her feet. Peeta's heart was beating abnormally fast and many more of the medical personnel began to rush into the room, bringing along with them different tools.

"Take the girls out of the room!" Someone shouted and before Katniss could blink the door had been shut in her face.

"Clear!" someone shouted from behind the door.

"Come on Katniss" Prim tugged on her sister's hand and led her to an area filled with grey, stiff chairs "sit here"

Just as Katniss sat a swarm of stiff backed soldiers barged into the room. They wore scowls and carried with them an air of authority so thick it made everyone fall into expectant silence as they awaited to see what they had to say.

"Soldier Everdeeen" barked one of the men as he approached her "you've been summoned to command"

"I'm no longer part of the army" Katniss scowled and regarded the man before her critically. She could tell already that she would hate this man.

"We've been ordered to either take you willingly or by force ma'am. So let me tell you again, you've been summoned to command"

Katniss opened her mouth to retort with something curt and filled with venom when she felt her sister's warm hand on her shoulder "Go, I'll watch over Peeta"

Katniss looked at her with wide eyes that cried out her disapproval like those of a child on the first day of kindergarten. She was surprised by the determination she found in her sisters gaze, she saw no escape and slowly got to het feet.

She turned to glare at the cold man before her "This better be quick"

The man nodded curtly and turned on his heel and walked away, not even looking to see if Katniss was following him or not. Grumbling unclean words Katniss followed him out the room; she took unwanted steps behind him and stared at the back of his head with venom. For some reason his closely cropped brown hair angered her.

They stopped before a black door, Katniss looked at the soldiers expectantly, waiting for them to go inside, yet neither of them made a move they all took u posts outside the door.

"Run along" said the man with the short hair "they're waiting for you"

Katniss wasn't the type of woman to trust anyone easily. After years of trading in the black market she'd learned a few things, she knew what to look for when recognizing an unsafe situation and right now her instincts were screaming bloody murder. She knew that there was nowhere to run, the amount of soldiers surrounding the door could easily overpower her, and if anyone wanted to black mail her all that had to be done was put a gun to Peeta's head. He wasn't in the position to fight for his life and Katniss held no power over anything.

She had no choice but to open the door and to step into the cold room.

She was in a conference room filled with the unfamiliar faces of different officials. They all wore the same expression, contempt. They all turned to look at her, or glare actually, yet Katniss' eyes were watching someone else the woman at the head of the table.

Well of course.

Alma Coin sat in her chair looking oddly relaxed as she reclined in it, she watched her with a triumphant smile and motioned to the empty seat next to her "Well hello Miss Mockingjay, take a seat we have a few things to discuss"

Katniss closed her eyes and breathed, she could almost feel the noose sliding onto her neck.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Welcome to a new chapter! I would like to thank all of those who reviewed, it makes me so happy. I really have great plans for this story, I'll make a sequel to it, maybe a triology? I hope you enjoy the chapter, it's extra long. Normally my reviews always get stuck at like thirty, let's push ppast that here shall we? Let's aim for fifty? Yes?**_

_**Jump into the sun**_  
_**Dear boy what are you running from?**_  
_**Everyone has got to be saved**_  
_**I have heard a voice**_  
_**If it came down to make a choice**_  
_**I would be the one to play**_

_**Time keeps rolling on (I need my)**_  
_**Time keeps rolling on (I need my absolution)**_

_**Run boy, be a man**_  
_**With legs too weak to make a stand**_  
_**We're all crucified in the end**_  
_**Can you hear a voice to separate through all this noise?**_  
_**You'll be left with nothing again**_

_**-The Pretty Reckless (my favorite band!) Absolution**_

* * *

Katniss often dreamed about what she would say to Peeta once he awoke, a part of her demanded she say something poetic and extremely cheesy, maybe something along the lines of 'Now there are those beautiful eyes' or something funny like 'Phew, you're up. You sleep like a log you know?' She knew that she probably wouldn't be capable to form any words whatsoever when he awoke, she'd probably be busy crying.

Now she only hoped she would be _there_ in the first place.

Alma Coin, President of District Thirteen stared her down as she gingerly settled onto the seat she was being offered. She wondered if she would kill her now or wait until later. She would probably wait, Alma was a woman who enjoyed drama, and especially if it caused someone she disliked pain.

And she didn't only dislike Katniss, she _hated_ her.

Well then, Katniss hated her right back.

"How's Peeta?" the grey-haired woman asked casually as she looked over some papers.

"He's fine" Katniss snapped curtly, unhappy that Peeta's name was being brought up so early in the conversation.

"We had a deal, Katniss. It was simple, you made my propos and I prevented that your little boyfriend went to prison for treason"

Katniss resisted the urge to laugh in her face "I did your propos. Peeta's in a _coma. _Do you expect me to just leave him there? He didn't commit treason, he was being tortured, he had no freewill at that moment and you know that."

The President waved at her dismissively "He's merely unconscious, he'll wake, there's no need to halt the propos production"

"Yes he will wake, but he's in a coma, this is much more than typical sleep. Also the war is almost over; there is no longer need for propos"

"Yes, but the war still needs it's Mockingjay leading troupes, inspiring soldiers, killing the tyrant" she said with a chilling calm.

'_You mean yourself?'_ Katniss thought bitterly "Peeta's in a goddamn coma and you want me to go to war?"

"Peeta will still be unconscious no matter where you are"

Katniss huffed with frustrations and turned towards the other high ranking officials, she caught the glint of a wedding ring on a young man with thick biceps, and she nodded at him "You're married, yes?"

He looked surprised that she had addressed him but recovered quickly with a nod "Yes ma'am, five years"

"Congratulations" she smiled warmly "now tell me, if your wife were in any sort of medical distress would you leave her side?"

The man looked nervously about the table but shook his head all the same "No way in hell ma'am"

Katniss turned to look at the President "He understands, I'm not about to leave Peeta behind no matter how _unconscious_ he is"

Alma Coin rolled her eyes and turned to stare daggers at the young woman before her, she had no time for this young woman with her strong passion and bitterness. She just wanted Snow dead "There's a difference Katniss, he's married, you and Peeta are children"

Katniss laughed without any humour "You can't throw a person into a battle field and force them to watch countless people die and still consider them a child. I am _not_ a child to my dismay. There is no difference towards my pain and his pain, something you wouldn't understand since you seem to be unable to grasp the concept of affection, let alone romantic love"

Alma shuffled her papers and turned towards Katniss with her mouth open, already ready to retort when one of her right hand men lifted his hand "Actually, ma'am, she is correct there is no difference between her and Johnson. If my wife were in a coma I wouldn't leave her side even if you let me kill President Snow, ma'am" he finished his sentence with the awkward respect of a nervous soldier.

"We could wait, until the young man awoke, then she can get back to work" the man referred to as Johnson added sheepishly.

"There is no time to waste waiting for such an unpredictable event" Alma refused immediately.

Katniss leaned back on her chair and gripped the arm rest tightly; giving her hands something to do so they wouldn't attempt to strangle the woman before her "You do understand that even if you manage to shove me into the battle field I won't co-operate, not while Peeta is in a coma, I'm not leaving him here"

Alma Coin looked surprised by the younger woman's cold and determined tone.

"I won't be your Mockingjay at all" Katniss spat plainly.

"Then I'll have to try Peeta for treason since you'll be breaking our deal" Alma countered.

"You can't prosecute someone who is lying on a hospital bed, and even if you do try him I won't be your Mockingjay. If you but touch a strand of hair on his head, or my sisters, my mothers or Gales for that matter you lose your Mockingjay, look for someone else." Katniss pushed her chair back and stood, exhausted by the conversation "I'll be in the hospital, don't come looking for me."

Katniss' hand was turning the doorknob when Alma snapped. She shot from her chair and reached out to her "Stop!" Katniss turned her head towards her, the door wide open "we can reach a compromise."

Katniss lifted her brow "Oh?"

The soldiers standing guard at the door turned to look inside curiously, never had they heard their president so desperate to make a deal. How could this young woman, whom wasn't even eighteen years old, manipulate the older politician? How could she have her bend at her will?

The answer was simple; no one comes between Katniss Everdeen and someone she loves, _no one_.

"You can film propos from here, we could set up a green screen, edit things, film you at the hospital-"

"No" Katniss interrupted with a shake of her head.

Alma was taken aback "Excuse me?"

"You're not getting any material from the hospital. Peeta stays off camera; there won't be any video of us in that hospital room"

The eyes of the soldiers behind Katniss widened as they turned to stare at their President expectantly. Would she accept? Would she drop the entire deal? Would she have Katniss arrested?

"Fine," Alma barked "have it your way, but you _will_ be filming the propos. No skipping, no excuses, no whining"

"Understood" Katniss nodded curtly before pushing by the stunned group of soldiers that clumped the doorway. They moved out of her path immediately, their gazes filled with a combination of respect, surprise and awe.

The rumours were true; Katniss really was the Girl on Fire.

* * *

"Hawthorne!" General Felix shouted across the crowded training room "Up front and centre, NOW!"

Gale scurried across the floor with his head held high. General Felix was a tough man with high expectations. He had no mercy, you either did what he asked or passed out of exhaustion, plain and simple, just like Gale preferred. Gale had never liked it when people were soft, or when they shifted to accommodate you, when it came to education Gale was fond of strict instructors with expectations he could do better than.

Gale Hawthorne liked himself a good challenge.

For years Gale had used this drive to do better than what he already could to keep him going. He used it to feed his family for years as he explored new areas in the woods, or set up more snares than before. He used it with the girls at the slag heap, and unsuccessfully on Katniss Everdeen. Gale pushed his limits and hoped to God he came out better than before.

So, it seemed natural to take this approach when it came to his training for the military, in fact it was welcome.

Now that Gale had been on a few odd 'missions', if that was what they could be called, he was back in District Thirteen taking another course that would strengthen his abilities. He wanted to be part of the real fighting, he didn't like being part of rousing a stir among the population of Panem; he wanted to shoot Peacekeepers.

He wanted to forget Katniss.

Gale liked the world best when it was black and white, right and wrong, and good vs. evil. When it came to Katniss there was so much grey area, her love for Peeta was so complicated, he would never understand it. He didn't hate Peeta for holding the key to Katniss' heart; he didn't hate Katniss for not loving him back. He simply felt wounded and angry and weak.

But he felt mostly tired so very tired.

He liked General Felix's method. He had them fight one another in protective gear on a small platform. He was given fingerless gloves with protective foam that would lessen any of his blows, a mouth guard so he wouldn't lose any teeth, and something to protect his crotch with which wasn't very comfortable.

He was on the Platform, crouched and ready about to pound a soldier with all his problems and worries.

That's just the way Gale Hawthorne came to terms with things.

He was successful and ended up seriously bruising three soldiers in the process; General Felix nodded his approval and offered him a rare smile.

"You're going places Hawthorne" the General nodded with a laugh.

* * *

"What happened to him?" were the first words out of Katniss' mouth as she strode into Peeta's hospital room. There were more nurses there than usual fuzzing with his machines, reading over how his body was doing.

Peeta lay on the hospital bed just as still as he usually did, only now he looked abnormally pale and there were wires on his chest area and many more screens in the room than before. If Katniss was worried before she was now drop dead terrified.

"His heart…" a nurse said with a sigh as she looked up from her chart "He suffered a minor heart attack."

Katniss was taken aback; Peeta was almost eighteen year old! She would expect such a thing from Haymitch who was nearing fifty "Why? I thought he was in perfectly good health."

The nurse nodded and looked somber "His body showed a range of activity. He went into overdrive; it was too much for him."

Katniss looked down at Peeta's face; it was covered in a light sheen of sweat "It's the singing isn't it? His reaction to my voice was too much, I'm hurting him, I-"

"No it's not the singing." the nurse shook her head vehemently "If anything this is a good reaction, something we should celebrate. The singing should increase, because if all our charts are right, the reason Peeta went into overdrive is because he showed signs of consciousness, it is as if he were exciting REM sleep."

"But he still had a heart attack…" Katniss mumbled with an unsure expression.

"Which was _minor_, he didn't suffer any damage. We're _this _close to having him wake up, all the signs are there, and it's as if his body is preparing for the event."

Katniss could no longer take it, she reached for a small tea towel someone left on Peeta's bed and wiped his face "So, you're saying that you've got a good feeling about this."

The nurse smiled and tucked a strand of her blond her behind her ear "More than a good feeling, a great feeling."

* * *

"What do you want me to say?" Katniss attempted not to growl as she picked at her hair. It was sticky, whatever they had coated her dark locks in was hard and felt entirely horrible. She had to constantly remind herself of why she was doing this. _Peeta is in a coma, he needs your protection. Peeta is in a coma._

Plutarch rubbed his chin and looked her up and down before nodding his approval. He motioned for the crew to start filming and took a seat in a stool off screen "Let's talk Katniss."

_Oh dear God. _"What do you want to talk about?"

"You. How are things with you? What have you been doing lately?" Plutarch made a face that relayed his message clearly. _Talk about Peeta! Peeta! Peeta! _It made her feel sick.

Katniss took a deep breath. She had to do this, show them what she was made of "I haven't been doing much for the rebellion lately, I've been otherwise occupied." she spoke softly.

"Occupied… how?"

Katniss glared at him. She didn't want to share this aspect of her personal life; it was too intimate, too delicate. "I've been at the hospital, with a friend."

"Which _friend _exactly, anyone we know of?" he made a large circular motion with his right arm "Peeta Mellark perhaps?"

Katniss' muscles clenched and the fury within her raged with dangerous power. She caught sight of Haymitch in the back of the room, he was glaring at her with an expression that clearly said _don't you dare. _Katniss attempted to breathe deeply, to remind herself that she needed to collaborate for Peeta's sake, for Prim's sake, for everyone's sake. The weight of the world pressed down on her shoulders and she was suddenly missing the cleaning supply closets she was so fond of.

"Yes, Peeta, he's in a coma." She sighed and looked at the wall, anything but at a person, she didn't like sympathy "but he'll be alright, he's strong."

And it was true, Peeta was strong, probably the strongest person she knew. He didn't hide from his fears like she did, he didn't push his emotions away, and he dealt with everything head on. No wonder he was the best out of all of them, he wasn't a coward. He wanted Katniss to win their first Games he walked straight into the wolves' jaws, the Career's pack. He saw that Katniss was suffering with nightmares during their nights on the Victory tour train, he held her. During the Quell he wanted her to live so he promised to lay down his life for her. He was truly remarkable and she was lucky to know him.

Why couldn't he just wake up already so she could begin the long task of thanking him?

"How does that make you feel?"

Katniss was outraged by the question. How did it make her feel? Did he really need to ask? She felt horrible! She didn't know if she should want him to die so he could stop fighting limbo or to wake for her _very _selfish motives. She wanted to talk to him again, hear him laugh, see his eyes crinkle as he smiles, see that little kink on his front tooth. She wanted him to point out all that was beautiful in this world of darkness and to speak of inconsequential subjects to get her mind off things. She wanted Peeta, just sweet old Peeta.

So she told him.

She smiled brightly as she told him all the things she missed about Peeta. The way his hair smells after baking, that annoying yet adorable snoring of his, his habit to double knot his shoelaces, that concentrated look he gets while painting, that little annoyed sound he makes when something has too much sugar because he doesn't care for sweets. His tendency to motion with his hands when he really wanted her to see what he's talking about, his whistling, his winning smile, that bark he has of a laugh. Everything, absolutely everything.

The filming finished after she let out a loud burst of air and pushed down any emotions that may lead to tears. The camera crew was bustling with activity, murmuring about how they were going to edit the material. One woman was in tears and most people kept on whispering their sympathy. Katniss hated sympathy more than anything but she shrugged it off. This wasn't the time for her to be angry, she had people to protect, and she had to collaborate.

The President _had_ said no whining after all.

Plutarch came up to her with an oddly proud smile. She, of course, glared at him. Katniss Everdeen wasn't known for her smile after all. She shifted in her seat and lifted a brow, _speak._

"Good acting there, Katniss. And to say we thought you were hopeless at theatrics. You could have had me fooled, the way you talked about Peeta... If I didn't know you and that Hawthorne boy were a thing since the beginning I would think that you really did mean the things you said."

For a second Katniss was frozen. Did she really appear to be such a horrible person? Was this what people really assumed about her? When Peeta was in the Capitol did people really think she was getting it on with Gale? Sure, she had spent some time confused over her feelings but the farthest that she had gone were a couple of kisses that felt as if she were kissing an orange tasting tree. And at the time Peeta pretty much hated her anyways, but this?

In the back of the room Haymitch began to cautiously make his was over in hopes to prevent the murder of a stupid man.

By the time Haymitch arrived at Katniss' side she was well into screaming a long list of obscenities and about to throw a stool at Plutarch.

He heard a specifically crafty insult involving his mother, a cow, and milk before Plutarch was attacked by the stool. He gripped Katniss' waist and hauled her out of the room, she struggled and continued yelling.

"… and then I'll shove it up your ass for good measure, you son of a-"

"Enough!" Haymitch yelled as he let go of her and got in her face "Shut up Katniss! You're just providing further proof of how insane you actually are."

"You'd know! What have you been doing for the past twenty years? Sleeping in pools of your own vomit! Thank you very much for being such a positive role model." She snarled at him and turned on her heel, she was done with him, with this whole thing that life had served her.

He grabbed her arm and hauled her backwards "You listen to me young lady, you will co-operate with these people, you won't attack them with stools, chairs, or _anything_. You will shut up when you are expected to and follow goddamn orders. Yes, what Plutarch said was terrible, untrue, and uncalled for but there was no need to go berserk on him, you're on a tight leash right now, you can't afford errors and I sure as hell won't be around to babysit you."

Katniss' lip trembled but she didn't cry. Predictably she shoved him and yanked herself out of his grasp. If he were younger and not saying the truth she would have probably punched him. Instead she stomped her right foot and pulled at the end of her braid. "I'm not in a good place right now."

"Which one of us is?" he motioned with his arms as if to include the entirety of the District, the country, in his statement "The point is you have to hold it together, you have responsibilities, a whole goddamn country is watching your every move. You either suck it up and solve your problems later or go to the mental ward and let Peeta be prosecuted for treason which wouldn't be convenient since he literally is the cure to your issues. Now, I don't have time for this, sweetheart, I have no rum so my patience is thin. Do better okay?"

Katniss breathed deeply and Haymitch patted her shoulder "Alright."

Haymitch nodded "Just do it for Prim, agreed?"

She nodded "And Peeta too."

He smiled at that "And Peeta too."

There was only one place for her to go, only one person who ever successfully soothed her. She walked into Peeta's hospital room and went straight for his bed. She laid herself beside him and began to ramble.

"… and the nerve he has Peeta, I don't know who he thinks he is, walking into the room and expecting me to spill all my sorrows. He doesn't care! You know what he thought? He thought that Gale and I were a _thing_! As if I could have the _audacity_ to do such a thing while you were being tortured! What am I, a cheap Capitol floosy? Do I look that terrible? I'm not a bad woman; I'm really not, so it's not my fault if I injured him with that stool, someone had to." she huffed and crossed her arms tilting her head slightly to look at Peeta "This is the part where you tell me to shut up and hug me."

Since, of course, he did not respond she hugged his side "I think that if you were awake you'd agree with me. Maybe even offer to throw your own stool at him? You know, because I won't be changing my mind about him any time soon so you may as well be solidary." She nuzzled his chest "I really miss you, Peeta. Even the annoyingly sweet parts of you; I must really love you, huh?"

She fell asleep next to him.

She was jostled awake by a nurse who scolded her for falling asleep next to Peeta. Peeta was covered in needles and tubes after all. She crawled into the uncomfortable cot that made the floor look inviting and promptly slept like the dead.

* * *

_"Hey Katniss? It's time to wake up." someone chuckled and brushed hair off her forehead "you can't stay in bed forever you know, if you don't get up I'll have to take out the big gun."_

_Katniss groaned and turned away from the voice. She pressed her nose against the soft feather stuffed pillow case and cuddled with the heavy sheets. The man chuckled again and she heard uneven footsteps "Alright, but don't tell me I didn't warn you honey."_

_She heard the door open and celebrated the small victory that he was indeed gone and went back to lying in uttermost comfort. It was short lived since the door opened again with the pitter-patter of small feet and playful squeals, shouts, and giggles of small children._

_People began to jump up and down on the bed and she cracked open an eye with a groan. A small girl and boy were jumping up and down on the bed shouting "Wake up Momma! Up, up, up!" Peeta was leaning against the wall watching with a triumphant grin as the children continued shouting. _

_She opened her eyes and laughed as the boy, no, Rye Haymitch Mellark, four years old, Mommy's boy, loves spaghetti with meatballs, mud, and sugar. He doesn't care for bath time. Rye reached for her and pouted "Come on Momma, you promised to take me to the park remember?"_

_The girl, Willow Primrose Mellark, six years old, likes to have her hair brushed, adores candy, spicy food, and pink dresses with ruffles **so** many ruffles. Hates it when anyone cracks their knuckles, daddy's girl, loves piggyback rides. She threw herself onto the bed beside her and grinned, she was missing her front tooth. Peeta had tied floss around it and tied it to a door and closed it. "And I have ballet remember? Then you and Daddy said we could all go to the woods and see the pretty birds! Please Momma you **promised**!"_

_She glanced at Peeta with mock disapproval "You play dirty Mr. Mellark."_

_He raised his hands in the air and grinned "But Mommy, you **promised**!_

She woke with a start almost embarrassed of where her subconscious mind had taken her, almost. The afterglow of the amazing dream was short lived, since she caught sight of movement out of the corner of her eye and screamed.

Someone was trying to suffocate Peeta with a pillow.

She leapt across the room in order to do some serious damage to the man in a ski mask that was leaning over Peeta. She realized much too late that the man was turned towards her.

And had a gun pointed right at her.

The world went black.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading! Dont forget to Review.**_

_**-Cassandraishere**_


	4. Chapter 4

_** Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem **_  
_**Lying to herself cause her liquor's top shelf **_  
_**It's alarming honestly how charming she can be **_  
_**Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun **_

_**She says, "You don't want to be like me **_  
_**Don't wanna see all the things I've seen **_  
_**I'm dying, I'm dying **_  
_**She says, "You don't want to get this way **_  
_**Famous, and dumb at an early age **_  
_**Lying, I'm lying **_

_**The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen **_  
_**She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes **_  
_**She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond **_  
_**Audiotune lies, she's still shining **_  
_**Like lightning, white lightning **_

_**Carmen, carmen, staying up till morning **_  
_**Only seventeen, but she walks the streets so mean **_  
_**It's alarming truly how disarming you can be **_  
_**Eating soft ice cream, Coney Island queen **_

_**She says, "You don't want to be like me **_  
_**Looking for fun, getting high for free **_  
_**I'm dying, I'm dying **_  
_**She says, "You don't want to get this way **_  
_**Street walking at night, and a star by day **_  
_**It's tiring, tiring **_

_**The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen **_  
_**She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes **_  
_**She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond **_  
_**Audiotune lies, she's still shining **_  
_**Like lightning, white lightning **_

_**Baby's all dressed up with nowhere to go **_  
_**That's the little story of the girl you know **_  
_**Relying on the kindness of strangers **_  
_**Trying cherry knots similing, doing party favours **_  
_**Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on **_  
_**Sing your song, song, now the camera's on **_  
_**And you're alive again **_

_**Mon amour, je sais que tu m'aimes aussi **_

_**The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen **_  
_**She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes **_  
_**She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond **_  
_**Audiotune lies, she's still shining **_  
_**Like lightning, white lightning **_

_**Like lightning, white lightning... **_

_**Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem **_  
_**Lying to herself cause her liquor's top shelf **_

_**Lana Del Rey - Carmen**_

* * *

**The Vigil**

**By: Cassandraishere**

** I do not own the Hunger Games**

* * *

"…won't like it, Haymitch." Someone said.

Haymitch sighed "I know, but this is her health, there's nothing we can do."

"You should tell her." Finnick that was Finnick, she'd know that voice anywhere.

"And stress her out? No, right now she needs to rest."

Finnick chuckled "She'll ask."

"And that's when I'll leave the room."

"What will I ask?" she blinked and let her eyes focus on the bright hospital room she was in. Finnick and Haymitch sat beside each other on a pair of chairs to her left while Prim was curled up against her right, asleep.

"What do you want to ask?" Haymitch looked up at her, he had purple bags under his eyes and a generally worn out appearance. How long had she been here?

_Oh God, Peeta!_

She began to hyperventilate "P-Peeta! Oh God, Haymitch, is he alive? What happened? Who was that man?"

"Shh." Haymitch patted her hand "calm down sweetheart, he's doing fine. Healthy as a horse, everything is fine, okay? Breathe, come on Katniss, breathe."

Katniss looked at him with her grey eyes wide and filled with tears. She looked like a terrified child. She breathed in shaky breaths per his instruction and nodded. Her heartbeat slowed significantly and her body relaxed. Peeta is alright, he'll be fine.

"The man in the hospital room, who was he? How did he get in there?" she inquired softly, tears spilled out of her eyes and dropped heavily from her lashes "Did they catch him? Please Haymitch, did they catch him?"

"Katniss… I…" he sighed and rubbed his temple, his face betrayed his anxiety "I don't know how to say this."

"They didn't catch him? How incompetent can people be? That was a goddamn hospital room with top of the line security god-"

Haymitch waved his hand to silence her "No, no, we have him in custody. Name is Drake."

"Yes and…" Katniss frowned, why was Haymitch so uneasy?

"We have reason to believe that he was one of Snow's men, the Capitol's forces have infiltrated the District. We can't know who's safe and who isn't. To the Districts knowledge Drake was a big shot doctor, until… you know." He paused to breathe deeply "The people treating Peeta could be trying to kill him and there is no way to know for sure."

Katniss closed her eyes as her heart hammered violently in her chest. Of course this would happen, how could any of them ever have thought they were safe from Snow's evil in Thirteen? It had all been an illusion, there was no freedom. There never was and there never would be.

"What do we do?" Katniss opened her eyes to inspect Haymitch's for any sign of an answer "Haymitch, I want people we can trust guarding Peeta at all times. Finn, you, Me. I'm sure Gale knows more than a few people we can trust, I-"

"Yeah, about that honey" Haymitch gripped her hand to ensure her absolute attention, Katniss stared at him slightly startled "we've got a problem when it comes to Gale…"

"What?" Katniss breathed.

Finnick stood and paced the room, when Haymitch didn't say anything he sighed and ran a hand past his bronze locks "Gale's gone missing, Katniss. He was training, working hard, and then he was gone. No one knows where to, and the District has put him down as a suspect in conspiring to Peeta's murder. It's too convenient of a disappearance, plus everyone knows he isn't exactly fond of Peeta."

The room was deathly silent as Katniss pondered the news she'd just received. Wordlessly Haymitch dropped her hand and exited the room, closing the door softly behind him. Katniss' breathing grew laboured as she was caught up staring into Finnick's emerald eyes in a panicked and fearful trance. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening. Oh God.

This was happening.

Katniss was in hysterics. She began to sob and curled into her sister whom was startled awake by her wailing. Prim attempted to calm her and shot a look at Finnick over her shoulder. Finnick stopped himself from running to Katniss and enveloping her in a comforting hug, instead he did as Prim bid with her stare. He ran out of the room in search for a doctor.

Prim murmured soothing things as her sister clutched at the material of the younger girl's shirt helplessly. Katniss made chocking sounds, high pitched whines, and long feeble moans. She was beyond grief, beyond anger, beyond despair.

Katniss Everdeen, Girl on Fire, MockingJay, half of the Star-crossed lovers had left the building and took all her strength and courage with her. Katniss Everdeen, helpless woman and mental ward inhabitant was all there was left.

The sobs continued until they sedated her and every time the drugs wore off she erupted into another round of tears forcing another dose of dreamless sleep.

Katniss was held in the hospital for a total of two weeks until her eyes couldn't produce anymore salt water for her to shed.

….

"….The bullet didn't cause any major damage, it merely grazed the side of your abdomen but you may experience soreness from that area." A man in a long white coat finished reading off his chart as Katniss stared off into space. There was no point in listening anyways. It was just another injury; it would leave another scar to mark another's failed attempt at murdering her. Another disappointment.

They weren't letting her near Peeta. She needed to rest apparently, all the anger and panic she'd been producing apparently wasn't very healthy. They wanted to keep her observed for a while, then she would be allowed to see her Peeta again, her dandelion, and her hope.

So she was stuck here, with Dr. Aurelius and his tall drab colleague's. It was funny, in a morbidly twisted form; at times like this she missed the Capitol and its frivolous individuals. At least then she had something to look at with amusement and disgust, or both.

And Peeta had been conscious and at her side.

She had recently been brought out of her drugged haze and was being read her medical status, again. Maybe they thought she was too mentally unstable to remember that a bullet had pierced her side. Maybe they enjoyed watching her expression contort every time someone said the word 'bullet'. Whatever, Katniss didn't care she had never liked doctors anyways.

When would she be allowed to sing to Peeta again?

When would they find Gale?

When would Peeta wake up?

Would she be released in time for Peeta's eighteenth birthday?

Would she ever be allowed visitors?

When would they release her so she could personally execute this Drake man?

She let the questions bounce about inside her mind. She had no way of answering them. She let her gaze concentrate on the mole on the side of the Doctors nose. He was speaking to her but she tuned out the noise. The mole was so large. It was brown, it looked like it was a separate life form, was that hair-

"Miss Everdeen?" the doctor called a little louder than before "Miss Everdeen, it's time for your appointment with Dr. Aurelius."

Oh God would it ever stop?

Katniss nodded and stood on her shaky legs. She had been quite weak lately, maybe because she hadn't eaten anything solid in two weeks. Or maybe she had finally gone mad and that was a side effect. Either way, she stumbled after the doctor towards Dr. Aurelius' office.

It was a cold room that the man had attempted to make slightly more inviting. It was probably a left over Capitol habit or maybe a mental health fact. There was a simple desk made out of a pressed cardboard material, a small plant, two armchairs facing each other and a couple of soft pillows that Katniss enjoyed to grasp. The walls were a different color than the rest of the district. They were yellow, her calming color.

Katniss walked towards one of the armchairs as she fiddled with a loose stand at the hem of her grey shirt. Dr. Aurelius was already waiting for her in his usual armchair.

"Hello Katniss." He said politely as Katniss shrunk into herself on her seat. She didn't like these appointments; they made her very self-conscious. She was never the type of woman who enjoyed talking about her feelings; she was closed off and silent. Like a clam, or Gale.

The only person who could successfully –on a good day, with some effort- get her to open up was lying on a hospital bed unconscious.

"Hello" she said quietly and pulled on the loose string with a little more force.

"How have you been feeling today? I've told that you've been quiet and co-operative but not very attentive. Is something on your mind?" he fixed his scrutinizing stare on her face as she shrugged nonchalantly.

"I've been thinking the same things as usual, feeling the same feelings, nothing new."

Dr. Aurelius sighed "You know Katniss, if you don't tell me what you're feeling and thinking I can't make an assessment. And if I can't make an assessment we won't know if you're doing any better, and if you aren't doing any better you can't see Peeta."

Katniss felt like she had just received a blow to the ribs "I know." She squeaked.

Dr. Aurelius adjusted the glasses that hung low on his nose and tapped his pen against his clip board. _Tap. Tap. Tap _

"I haven't been feeling very… good." Katniss began lamely.

"Elaborate please."

"Well," she dug around her mind "someone attempted to m-murder Peeta, someone sent by the Capitol. That isn't something I'd ever want to hear. Peeta is in such a fragile condition right now and I don't want any more danger around him than what is strictly necessary, he's just so precious to me…"

She sighed, her heart hammering "And then there's Gale. He's a suspect, my best friend, a suspect in _Peeta's _attempted murder? It just isn't right, I don't like it. But this is all I've been able to think about. Is Peeta safe? Whatever will happen to Gale? Will Peeta's eighteenth birthday happen in a hospital room? I'm just worried and this war is not doing me any good. I'm expected to follow orders when I can barely control the small aspects of my life… I don't know what else to say." She tugged at the end of her braid and looked up at Dr. Aurelius and pleaded with him "may I go to Peeta's hospital room now?"

He sighed and stood. He walked over to the intercom in the wall and spoke "Haymitch, get a wheelchair and please transport Miss Everdeen to Peeta's hospital room, I've found the cure to her anxiety."

Haymitch scoffed superiorly "It took you this long?"

District Thirteen was never a welcoming place. It was cold, severe, and sterile. It was no place for a woman like Katniss Everdeen who was as tameable as a bear or any of the victors for a matter of fact. As far as any person with any shred of intellect could tell they all shared a common trait. As survivors they were resilient and permanently seeking if not their own freedom but their loved one's freedom. District Thirteen was no place for creativity or stubbornness; there just wasn't enough room to grow.

The days between the present and Peeta's birthday were shortening, he continued to lay there, his brain waves showing a high level of activity only when Katniss knew he was suffering from a nightmare or listening to her sing.

They were failing; her, the doctors, everyone. They were all failing him.

Despite Katniss' many protests, she was not given the clear to see the man that had attempted to destroy her universe. He was under lock and key, awaiting execution. He was still to stand in trial but the District had other things to occupy itself with and couldn't afford to waste valuable men by putting them in some sort of court system.

It was a surprise and an insult when one by one, the victors received request to form the supreme court of District Thirteen.

Even Peeta, in his condition, received a formal letter which Katniss read to him, he reacted to her voice with another twitch to his hand.

They all agreed, if not to as a group decide how to execute the man, but to be useful.

It was morning, Katniss could tell by the small window in Peeta's room, when the first meeting of the Districts first Justice System took place. It was to happen in Peeta's hospital room for obvious reasons. She was ringing out a sponge she'd used to wipe the thin layer of sweat off Peeta's skin into a metal bucket when the first victor arrived.

Johanna Mason hoped into the room looking all sorts of odd. For one, she was smiling, and it wasn't sarcastic. Katniss dropped the sponge into the soapy water, surprised.

"Hello, Everdeen." Johanna said as she looked over Peeta, whom at the moment depended on a thin sheet to protect his decency. "I see you've been caring for your patient."

Katniss hesitated, unsure as to what Johanna wanted from her. "I'm decent at nursing."

The woman walked over to Peeta's machines looking bored "I see."

Katniss frowned before shrugging off the conversation and exiting the room to discard of the bucket, normally when she returned the nurses would have already dressed him since it was a two person job with Peeta having such heavy limbs. Plus, Katniss could never understand the hospitals gowns; all she knew was how to get out of them.

When she returned Peeta was in a hospital gown, as she predicted. Johanna sat in a chair beside him, chatting in a low voice. Katniss smiled when she saw her.

"If you wanted to see him you know you can come anytime you want." Katniss gently closed the hospital rooms door behind her "I won't stop you."

"Who says you _could _stop me?" Johanna smirked and scratched at the light dusting of chocolate hair which grazed her shaved head, "I do whatever I want."

Katniss gave her a slightly amused look as she walked over to Peeta's hospital bed and hopped on to her usual spot "Yes, yes you do. I've lived with you, remember?"

She grunted and turned back to Peeta "He'll be eighteen soon."

Katniss sighed and nodded "On the twenty-fifth."

"Does that… worry you? That he'll still be… here."

Katniss closed her eyes and weakly shrugged before turning back to Johanna, a sad smile on her lips "At least he'd still be alive."

Johanna nodded, no one understood the value of human life better than another victor "I'll sing 'Happy Birthday' if you do."

Katniss laughed "Well, you have yourself a deal."

As Johanna and Katniss looked at one another a gap was breached. These two women so alike in character, so very abused by their circumstances were still alive. Not well, but alive. With time things could change for the better, Peeta could wake, Johanna could bathe again, with time their wounds would become bearable.

Before any of the other victors could catch them red handed they smiled at one another, it was done, that very day was the beginning of their friendship.

It would grow as strong as the ties between sisters.

* * *

**_Sorry, that was much shorter than my usual, but nothing else would come out. The words didn't want to be part of this chapter._**

**_Thanks for reading and don't forget to review._**

**_Cassandraishere._**


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